


As Long As We're Here

by xxDustNight88



Series: Dust Bunnies [16]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 31 Days of Fanfiction Challenge, Brain tumor, Cancer, Character Death, Death, F/M, Heavy Angst, Sad, Sad Ending, Seriously someone dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2019-01-16 17:48:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12347571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxDustNight88/pseuds/xxDustNight88
Summary: Time. So easily taken for granted, but what happens when you suddenly find out that you no longer have as much time as you’d hoped for?





	As Long As We're Here

**Author's Note:**

> I am going to apologize in advance for this. It’s just horribly sad. I cried writing it. I have no other words… Major Character Death, okay. Check the trigger warnings before reading. Alpha love goes to GaeilgeRua. Any mistakes you find are my own as this was not beta read. Much love, xxDustNight
> 
> Disclaimer: All non-original characters, plot points, and information belongs to J.K. Rowling. The story plot and dialogue belongs to me. I do not write for profit.
> 
> Prompt: 31 Days of Fanfiction: Day #12 major Character Death

_ As Long As We're Here _

Time. It was such an easy thing to take for granted. More often than not, we spend our lives wishing time away. Wishing for Fridays. Wishing for the day to end. Wishing for this pain to pass. Then, quite suddenly, we find ourselves wishing for the opposite. Oh what we wouldn't give for just one more day. Or even another minute. Another second of time...

That's what Hermione was thinking about as she sat alone in her bedroom, staring blindly at the rose-colored wall before her. Numb, she wiped underneath her eyes, surprised to find that her tears had long since dried. How long had she been sitting here, she wondered? After the appointment with her Healer that morning, she'd  _apparated_ home only to come in here and sit down. Then, and only then, had she allowed the tears to come as she repeated aloud the words the Healer had told her.

Brain tumor. Stage four. No treatment available. She was dying.

_Dying_.

Hermione was dying and there was nothing she or all the Healers in the world could do about it. Everything made sense now… Her lack of appetite. The way she was forgetting the simplest of things. Mood swings. Migraines. Bursts of uncontrollable rage. All of it stemmed back to the massive tumor growing in her brain. The most treasured piece of her entire being and she was losing it. Merlin, she was only twenty-nine, her life just beginning.

Ending. Her life was  _ending_. The Healer told her it could be any day now. How hadn't she noticed before? Why had she let work and research get her so caught up that she hadn't realized just how dire her health was? A seizure would probably take her, she'd been told. She'd never know it was coming. If it didn't kill her immediately, she'd probably fall into a coma, lost to the world until her body finally gave out.

What was she going to tell her friends? Hell, what was she going to tell Ron? He was going to be devastated, more so than anyone else. Rightly so. They were barely out of the honeymoon stage… Married only three years, they were just starting to think of children and settling down properly. This was going to wreck him. It was going to break her, but it would most certainly wreck her beloved, especially as they'd been going through some difficult times recently.

She knew now that her mood swings and irrational bursts of anger were related to the tumor, but Ron didn't know that. He thought she was pulling away, having said so himself just the other night when she'd gone off on a rage. She'd been mad about him not putting the dishes away in the right place, as ridiculous as that sounds. They'd fought for hours, both not wanting to back down. At least, not until Hermione's head had started throbbing so badly she'd nearly passed out on the stairs.

Only then had Ron caved, hurrying to her side and helping her to bed where she'd cried herself to sleep. That was what finally forced her to see the Healer. It was too late, though. If she hadn't been so stupid, forcing herself to work through the pain all these months then maybe there could have been some way to treat the tumor… Even the Healer had told her as much. Now, she just felt horrible, her damaging words from that night echoing in her deteriorating brain. She'd told Ron she hated him, along with a myriad of other horrid things she couldn't remember right now.

Regrets… She had too many.

Hearing the front door open and then close downstairs, Hermione's stomach began to churn knowing she now had to tell Ron the truth. That she was dying and he would be left without her in this world. Heart aching, she waited for him to find her, unable to call out with her throat raw from crying half the day away. When footsteps sounded on the stairs, she clenched her hands into fists in her lap, trying to figure out how to best broach this topic with him.

She had nothing.

"Hey, 'Mione," Ron greeted as he came into the bedroom and began changing out of his work clothes and into something more comfortable. "How was the Healer? Did she give you something for those migraines?" He pulled a plain t-shirt over his head and then turned to face her while smoothing his hands down the front.

Staring up at him from where was still seated on the bed, Hermione found herself unable to speak. Her heart was caught in her throat and she felt like she was suffocating. As if sensing something was wrong, Ron closed the distance between them and dropped to his knees. Gripping her hands in his Quidditch calloused ones, he searched her face for an answer, but could find nothing.

"I'm sorry," she blurted out suddenly. "About the other night. I don't hate you, Ron. I love you… More than anything in the word, I love you. When you're with me, I breathe a little easier and everything doesn't seem so dark." Biting her lip, she cut herself off and glanced away

"What?" Ron sputtered, his face paling as he tried to figure out what this was all about. Confused, he reached out and gently pushed on her chin so she'd look back at him. "Where's this coming from? We've fought loads of times before, Hermione. I'm not mad anymore, I just want to make sure you're alright."

"I-" She couldn't get the words out, everything she could possibly think of saying hurting her more than she knew it was going to hurt him. Nearing the point of hyperventilating, Hermione reached out and grabbed hold of his shirt. "Please, Ron. I'm so afraid that… That you'll never forgive me for the horrible things that I've said to you. I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry for how I've been acting, and even for the fights we haven't had yet."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" He quietly exclaimed, holding up his hands and trying to get her to calm down. "Relax, Hermione. That's a bit much, don't you think?"

"No, Ron. You don't understand-"

"What I understand is that you've been under a lot of stress at work. Hopefully, whatever the Healer gave you will help." When she merely blinked back at him, he frowned. "You are okay, right? The Healer didn't give you any bad news?"

Heart pounding, Hermione tried to come up with something to say, but everything she came up with inside her head sounded horrible. Here, kneeling before her was everything she'd ever wanted and needed wrapped up inside of a single person. Ron was her entire world. He was her heart, her soul, and she had no idea how to deal with that. She'd always thought of him as just Ron, her fun and loving husband, as well as one of the best friends she'd ever had.

Now, she had to look at him in an entirely different light. He would be more than just her husband or lover now. He would be her caregiver, her protector… And she had to break that to him. How?  _How_ was she going to do this? She hated that she kept repeating herself, but talking in circles was the only way she seemed to find answers today. She would have to try, though, and so she decided to start where she felt safest. Her love. Her love would keep her strong through this, and now she knew what to say.

"Ron… I want you to know that I love you and I will keep on loving you for as long as we're here," she breathed, pulling him close and wrapping him in a tight embrace. She inhaled, his smell comforting her, and as his arms came up to wrap securely around her, she began to cry knowing that now was the time to tell him the truth.

"I know you will, Hermione," Ron murmured into the crook of her neck, eyes squeezing shut to fight back his tears despite not knowing why he was crying. He felt her begin to tremble, her own emotions wracking her frail frame. He held her tighter, swallowing thickly. "I love you too."

She nodded, deciding in that moment that she wasn't going to tell him. She wasn't going to tell Ron she was dying and that he would be forced to say goodbye to her. She was going to be the one to say all the goodbyes. She was going to be the one to make sure that each and every day was treated as her last, and that Ron, and her friends and family, knew just how much she loved them. As long as she was alive, she would do that for them so that when she finally was gone, they wouldn't have any regrets like she did.

"One of these days, Ron," she whispered, her cheek resting against his. "One of these days you're going to understand all of this. I promise…"

"Alright, love," he replied, gently rocking her as she continued to cry softly on his shoulder. "Someday you'll have to tell me exactly what's bothering you, but for now, let's simply make the most of our time together."

"That sounds lovely," Hermione told him, pulling back to look him in the eyes. Leaning forward she kissed his lips, pouring everything she had into that moment with every intent that she would do so from now onwards.

Ten weeks later, Ron would find Hermione unresponsive in their bed one morning. Their time having finally run out and leaving Ron at a loss for words. Hermione made the most of their remaining time together, ensuring that Ron had plenty of beautiful memories to stow away for after his heart was finished shattering. Now, though, it was his turn to wish for one more day, one more minute, one more second of time…


End file.
